Thursday, June 30, 2011

Strangers say the funniest things

They sure do make me smile.

"I'm so glad I came over here from Office Max! You are so much cuter than the girl over there."

"What perfume are wearing?"
I'm not wearing any perfume.
"Well, you smell REALLY good."

Wednesday, June 29, 2011

it's one thing if you're cool and go barefoot in a store ...

... another if you're rude white trash!

"Why can't you give me my discount for recycling my ink now?"
Because corporate says so.
"Well, then I don't want this!"
Okay, have a good night. she didn't leave.
SHALISE! SHALISE! SHALISE! she belted in a whiny fashion for her daughter.
5 minutes later ... "Fine! I'll take it."

what i wanted to yell.
sa-curity! SA-CURITY!
this lady needs to GO! need to go!

are those your real lashes?

Too much attention from random strangers.

But, I love these things. $25 well spent.

Sunday, June 26, 2011

1 crazy customer comin' right up

"I knew I should have listened to my spirit," he began.

Little did I know this hurried statement would not be the last one of an old man who had just lost his debit card.

"It was only in the seventies that I didn't listen to God. I drank too much and smoked too much pot and God told me to stop but I didn't listen."

That's nice, I thought, but why is this crazed older man lecturing me on the art of listening to God?

Without asking for my fortune the man continued. "I am a Levitical priest and God has sent me here to speak to you."

Oh boy, I thought another crazy customer has come my way.

Things got particularly odd when he began to give me life advice. "You need to go back to school, to get a masters in business or something. You're very smart but you have not finished school. Your mother and your mom's mother would be very proud of you and want you to go back to school."

Ok, I thought, not terrible advice, but who is this guy? And then he continued his prophesies.

"You are vain but it's a good thing because you will hold out for the right attractive man." "You're tough, but sweet."

Every now and then he'd throw in some Hebrew phrases. Wow, I thought. Is this man for real?

And then he told me he was an Israeli brought back from the dead to be a Levitical priest specifically sent to see me. He could have gone anywhere besides my store, he said. But he was sent to me. Weirdo!

He also told my co-worker he was sorry about the passing of his grandmother (who hadn't died, btw) and that he had a second child on the way (he's a newlywed with no children).

How can someone be delusional enough to pass on "revelations" to random strangers?

Tuesday, June 14, 2011