Tuesday, September 28, 2010

humility

lately, i've been trying to figure out life. i've been pretty angry. no specifics.
is there really a god?
how could he let people suffer?
to make them come unto him some say. to allow people to grow others reply.
it seems selfish of god to let things happen to people to cause them to grieve and sorrow so in turn they seek solace from him.

why does he allow people to be killed in tragic car accidents, why do people suffer excruciatingly horrific pain from cancer and then die? why do people experience mental breakdowns? why does this gorgeous woman have stage 4 lung cancer even though she ran miles every day and never smoked? why did this beautifully talented woman and mother of two young children have to die suddenly in a car accident?

I found this quote and am deeply touched. "I have lost a mother to schizophrenia, my father to another marriage, and myself to anger. It is time to let it go and hand it all over to God. Thank you God for showing me the truth."

It's time Kayleigh. It's time to turn the pain over to God. time to humble myself and let go of my pride. the truth is i need Him in order to be unconditionally happy. i just feel it.

AN ANSWER:
"If thou art sorrowful, call on the Lord thy God with supplication, that your souls may be joyful."
"My people must be tried in all things that they may be prepared to receive the glory that I have for them." (Doctrine and Covenants 136:29, 30)

although it's hard for me to understand why i have to draw a line between intellectual questioning and faithful spirituality, this quote helps:
"the carnal mind cannot discern the things of God." -Joseph Smith
right he is, cause try as i may, i can't understand all He asks of us.

1 comment:

monique said...

as frustrating as it seems, I've decided that now is the best time to be addressing "life" and being angry and confused if needed. I mean if it get's too bad, you can always eat a cookie...better yet WE can always eat multiple cookies together! we'll buy an entire roll of cookie dough and just brood about the world and our beliefs while we eat cookie dough!